Fictional

I’m tired of allowing somebody into my life and ended up getting hurt. There’s a need to wake the monster inside me. People are too mean..

Problems with boys:

They make you think that they like you when they don’t.

Problems with girls:

They make you think that they hate you when they actually like you.

HUMANS ARE WEIRD, HUH?

Like…. How hard is it to celebrate my birthday with me? I’m truly disappointed. KTHXBYE

I’ve been crying so much lately. I’m starting to over react and over think more and more. I don’t need someone’s care and concern. I just need somebody to understand my pain and guide me along. I don’t want to resort back to cigarettes and self inflicted pain.

Times like this, i really hate myself. Hate myself for not being able to handle setbacks and control emotions.

I’ve been crying so much lately. I’m starting to over react and over think more and more. I don’t need someone’s care and concern. I just need somebody to understand my pain and guide me along. I don’t want to resort back to cigarettes and self inflict pain.

Times like this, i really hate myself. Hate myself for not being able to handle setbacks and control emotions.

I care too much sometimes. Nobody would ever put me as their first priority like how i did..

A tinge of sadness and jealousy.

Why is it that i’ve to face everything alone?

……

I’m starting to feel cold again. Both inside and outside. 

I used to be a really positive and happy girl before he and i got together. And ever since after he left my life, i’ve been feeling so cold on the inside that i became so withdrawn and sensitive towards the things around me. I became a totally different person from what i were before..

Day goes by, things started to get better but my character and attitude still stay the same. Cold, hot tempered, sensitive, etc……. I get upset so easily that i really feel like ending this precious life of mine sometimes.

Guessed i’ve been walking on the wrong path all along. Time to revert back to where i came from.

I can never be mad at you for a long time, because you are my mother. I’m fine with you hitting me. I’m fine with you nagging non stop. BUT IT’S NOT OKAY IF YOU START CONTROLLING ME AND FORCING ME TO DO THE THINGS I DON’T WANT TO DO. Pls Mom. Don’t do this. I HATE IT. Why can’t you understand?…………………………………………………………………..

The title says it all.

Today, the sister and i met up with Dad(after a long time of not seeing him) and the other relatives for dinner. The atmosphere was a little cold and awkward at the beginning while sitting at the table alone with Dad until the rest came.

I’m really glad he finally asked about our financial situation after more than a decade of his and mom’s divorce. I decided to be frank and told him that the sum of allowance he gave us is NOT enough ever since moving on to college. I don’t know whether i did the right thing because i think i just added another burden on his back. He sat still on the chair, drinking his beer, deep in thought and kept asking questions. I don’t want him to be stressing and making changes but i just want to let him know the situation we’re living in.

As i grow older, i’m starting to appreciate whatever i have. It’s okay to be born in a broken family and it’s okay that we’re poor. My story may not have such a happy beginning but that doesn’t make me who i am, it is the rest of my story, who i choose to be in the future. Who knows? I might have a happy family and a successful career before i hit my thirties.

Because as long as i have them, i’ll survive to the end.